***** Review of “Arthur” (1981)

 

So much can be learned from the movies. You see, when you`re rich, chronic alcoholism is non-stop hilarity! Playing Arthur, Dudley Moore joyfully imbibes all his days away, energetically tossing off clever bon-mots, with Liza Minelli and Sir John Gielgud bouncing beside him as delightful co-dependents. He`s a fun drunk, not one of those preachy twelve steppers or shaky yellow sad ones with their vomiting and coughing up blood, crashing their crappy cars. Those swollen-livered losers just don`t have the right attitude. Arthur carefreely weaves his Bentley back and forth in the New York streets, head bobbing out of the sunroof, spilling nary a drop of his martini. That`s how a gentleman drinks, and his fellow drivers respect it! Adding to the endless fun, he frequently dines with the beautiful, hygienically sound New York prostitutes, sporting their tube tops, satin pants and wise-cracking ways. Those girls are surely hiding hearts of gold, those scamps. If we could just teach our children to drink and carouse all day properly, like Arthur does – WITH GUSTO – the world would be a happier place. 5 stars. Fun for the whole family!

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Top Ten Movies of 2010

Well, it’s time to roll out the Top Ten lists again. Did the year really go that fast? We’re really pushing against deadline with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, so this list is a little rushed. Here’s our Top Ten movies of 2010.

10. The Tooth Fairy –  Dwayne “The Johnson” Rock,  former Olympic boxer, displays his considerable range playing the tooth fairy in this delightful fantasy. You see, he is just way too big to be the tooth fairy. I mean, look how big he is? He’s just too big! That’s classic.  The children will be enthralled by Mr. Rock’s fairy wings, and the adults will swoon over Mr. Rock’s rippling fairy abs. 

Another Super Fun Movie Quiz From MovieGoober

by GooberGames

Well, it’s that time! Here’s another Super Fun Movie Quiz. Pencils ready? Go!

1. While being taken prisoner in 1968’s  “The Planet of the Apes”, Charlton Heston cries,  “Get your hands off me you damn, …”

a. dirty rats!
b. squishy octopii!
c. smelly liberals!
d. none of the above

2. Charlie Sheen’s 1987 comedy “Major League” features what popular American sport?

a. badminton
b. hot-dog eating
c. tonsil hockey
d. none of the above

10 Worst Rom-Coms

 

1. “When Harry Shaved Sally”

2. “Debasing Amy”

3. “Pretty Scrotum”

4. “Forgetting Penny Marshall”

5. “There’s Something Itching Mary”

6. “You’ve Got Crabs”

7. “Knocked Up and Locked Up!”

8. “When Harry Met Sully”

9. “My Big Fat Greek Beheading”

10 “The Ugly Truth”

**** Review of “Dark Water” (2006)

This British documentary damages the soul in the same way as Werner Herzog’s “Grizzly Man”, the 2005 documentary about a bear hugging half-wit who got himself gobbled up by a Grizzly. (Err..go back ONE sentence. Ready? SPOILER ALERT!)   Herzog freaked audiences out with bears and mental illness, “Dark Water” does it with a boat and crushing loneliness.

It’s a notable trend in recent documentaries. In the old days, documentaries might teach viewers something, like Civil War history or the emperors of Rome. Sometimes they’d offer a fascinating look at the subculture of early ’60s nudist colonies. Nature documentaries typically featured prancing squirrels and delightful vegetarian cougars named Chip and at the very worst, documentaries might kill a few hoop dreams, no more than that.  “Deep Water”, on the other hand, leaves viewers feeling bereft and hopeless, alone in the cosmos, shaking with existential dread, barely able to swallow their CheeseDoodles®

10 Worst Movie Books

by GooberLists

1. “I Farted at the Movies” by Pauline Kael (1981)

NEW ON DVD: Releases for January 2011

MovieGoober’s selected DVD releases and re-releases for January.

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DVD RELEASES – JANUARY, 2011

“Black Sheep” (1996)- Starring Chris Farley and David Spade. (DVD Widescreen-2010) FINALLY! I THOUGHT THEY WOULD NEVER RELEASE THIS IN WIDESCREEN.

“How the West Was Won” (1962)- Starring Carroll Baker, Lee J. Cobb and Henry Fonda. (DVD Blu Ray 2010) IT WAS WON BY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN FIGHTING OVERSEAS, THAT’S HOW!

My 10 Questions With Matt Damon

Matt Damon’s latest film is “True Grit”, a remake of the 1969 John Wayne oater. I recently caught up with Damon at an LA eatery for a round of 10 Questions.

Q1. Welcome. We’re here with movie megastar Matt Damon. His latest role is as Texas Ranger LaBoeuf in the new Coen Brothers film “True Grit”. How are you Matt?

A. Excuse me?

Q2. Ha, ha! I’m the one asking the questions around here!  So Matt,  tell me, what was it like working with the Coen Brothers?

A. I’m sorry. What is it you want?

Q3. I want to see “True Grit”, that’s for sure, but let me ask you this: What is “The Dude” really like? Is Jeff Bridges  anything like his character Jeff Lebowski?

A. Okay, uh, listen. I don’t mind signing autographs, or talking to fans, whatever this is, but not when I’m trying to enjoy dinner with my wife, okay?

Capsule Reviews by MovieGoober

Brief reviews of films currently in release.

***— –Black Swan– Princess Portman painfully pirouettes.

**—– I Love You, Phillip Morris– Conniving, convict Carrey.

**—- The King’s Speech– Ba-ba-ba–boring.

*****– True Grit– “Dude” revenge.

***—- The Social Network– Nerd revenge.

**—— Burlesque– “Showgirls”. Clothed?

*——- Let Me In– Um, no.

*——– The Nutcracker in 3D– Toy weirdos.

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www.moviegoober.com

Ask a Movie Question

Our fun monthly column where a Goober correspondent answers your movie related questions.

Q. Is “Black Swan” any good? Lauren B., Cokeburg, Pa.

A. It’s alright.

Q. What time does “True Grit” start? Greg T., Belle Vernon, Pa.

A. Uh..let’s see… there’s a 3 o’clock …a 7:10, and a 9:40.

Q. Thanks. Greg T, Belle Vernon, Pa.

A. No problem.

Q. Um, can I like, take food in with me, if I hide it in my purse? Kim S., Charleroi, Pa.

A. Well…you’re not really supposed to, but I don’t even care.

Q. Thanks. Kim S., Charleroi, Pa.

A. No problem.

Q. What did you think of the American Film Institute’s recent list of best comedies? It included six Woody Allen pictures, three Mel Brooks but not a single entry from Harold Lloyd. The list seems to be laughably top heavy with more recent films, with only token nods given to the early silents. (e.g. “The Gold Rush” at #25.)  I would assume the AFI voting body skews older, like the Academy Award voters, but their picks do not reflect it. What gives? Tony, Scenery Hill, Pa.

A. Uh…dude… there are like, people behind you.

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www.moviegoober.com