** Review of “Syriana” (2005)

With this installment, the “Ocean’s Eleven” series is obviously running on fumes. Inexplicably named “Syriana”,  the usually debonair Danny Ocean (George Clooney) looks unkempt and alarmingly bloated as Clooney sleepwalks trough a pathetic performance, visibly hung over throughout the film.

The crew holding Clooney up for another take.

 

Super Fun Wes Anderson Knock-Knock Jokes

by GooberJokes

Super Fun Movie Quiz by MovieGoober™

by GooberGames

So, you think you know the movies? How about taking this Super Fun Quiz to test your “chops”. Take your time and be sure to read through all the answers. There is no time limit.

 

 

1. Gene Kelly was doing what in a famous 1952 musical?
a. “Singing in the Rain”
b. “Dancing on a Plane”
c. “Complaining about his Brain (tumor)”
d. “Diddling Mary Jane”

2. In “Casablanca”, Humphrey Bogart said  to Ingrid Bergman, “We’ll always have…”
a. Paris
b. London
c. Scranton
d. Herpes

* Review of “Inland Empire” (2006)

 

Yikes! That image scares us but frankly we don’t think David Lynch is even trying anymore. He freely admitted to everyone that would listen that he started filming “Inland Empire” without a screenplay, and sounded quite proud of himself. Go figure, because at the risk of sounding like uptight sticks-in-the-mud, we prefer movies WITH screenplays – that way we know what they are about. You see, we have found that when one do not follow a screenplay, one just ends up with an assemblage of…uh.. baloney (or is it bologna?) on the screen that does not make any sense.

*** Review of “Falling Down” (1993)

by GooberCranky

ONCE…in a sweltering West Coast world.. ONE MAN.. stuck in traffic…with a tie and a pocket protector.. flipped his flattop lid and took it all back. COMING IN SUMMER 1993… MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS…ROBO-DILBERT!  

  We really liked this movie when we were younger and more knuckleheaded. When it came up as an instant watch on Netflix, we looked forward to seeing it again, but much of our enthusiasm waned as we realized how simple-minded it looks now. We must have been some kind of xenophobic jerks in 1993.

***** Review of “Double Indemnity” (1944)

“Double Indemnity” is the master blueprint for film noir. Fred MacMurray is as cool as a cucumber, blowing smoke rings and lighting matches off his zipper while Barbara Stanwick swoons. She’s one of those crazy hot chicks, the kind that makes you carry her purse, mow her brother’s grass and while you’re on the way home from work, stop and kill her husband. In short,  high maintenance. “Body Heat” was a fine remake, stylish enough, but it couldn’t quite match the razor sharp, rat-a-tat dialogue of this one. (It made up for it with some razor sharp, rat-a-tat nudity.) “Double Indemnity” is one of the greats and you can’t really consider yourself a properly trained cinema monkey without seeing it. 5 stars

*** Review of “Castaway” (2000)

by GooberDrunky

The scenes of Tom Hanks stranded on a desert island are the best part of “Castaway”, the rest is pretty gooey. Once off the island, Hanks has a hard time readjusting to real life. It’s sad. The only way he can have sex with Helen Hunt is if she dresses up like a volleyball. 3 stars

***** Review of “Cool as Ice” (1991)

 

“Cool as Ice” is a word to your mother. Indeed, a word to all our mothers and a long lost, aching masterpiece from 1991.

The prestigious “Razzie” Awards, bestowed annually by the Rasmussen Institute, we believe, fittingly gave their highest prize that year to this timeless, gut-punch of suburban street violence and teenage angst. Helmed by first time director David Kellogg, best known for his groundbreaking series of 7 Up commercials (“It’s like Sprite! YEAH BOII!”), “Cool as Ice” offers a searing look at troubled youth and biker justice. Punctuated with straight-from-the-hood musical authenticity, it eschews the typical Hollywood gloss and “keeps it real”, speaking to the tragic, historically hard to reach white homies.

Ice holding two of his Peabody Awards.

Original gangster/musical gadfly Vanilla Ice makes his stunning debut as the street-wise, rebellious biker masking his inner torment

***** Review of “Showgirls” (1995)

 “Showgirls” is an epic masterpiece of epical, masterpiecical proportions. It’s two hours and eleven minutes of silver screen lightening captured in our jars.

Berkley licks at our hearts.

10 Movies We Will Never Watch. Ever.

 

 

     1. Caddyshack 2 – Let’s see. Not to be sacrilegious, but the first “Caddyshack” was just an okay comedy to me, decent but not one of my favorites. I watched it once, drunk at a drive-in where it was paired with “Meatballs”, and that was enough. But in this sequel, there’s no Bill Murray or Rodney Dangerfield, they got Jackie Mason instead. While a Jackie Mason flick IS tempting, I hate sequels and someone told that me that in “Caddyshack 2”, the gopher actually talks. There’s no way I am ever watching that. Ever. I have actually put this on one of my worst movie lists (10 worst sequels) without seeing it, and I don’t feel guilty about it. I don’t think it’s necessary to watch it. You can just tell by looking at the box that it’s a train wreck and EVERYTHING about it is wrong. In this case, you CAN judge a book by its cover.